SEX

I’m gonna be real, because I’m sick of being typical.

Lately I’ve been seeing this guy Luke and we’ve started doing some new stuff in bed. A few times we just decided to jerk off together. At first I wasn’t sure if that would be enough for me, you know, but we really got into it.

We were laying with, kind of, one arm around the other’s shoulder and we both really got off on watching each other. We’ve done massages, which is great. A couple of times we tried talking dirty and that was cool too. Just the other night I used a can of whipped cream and it was one of the best times we’ve had together.

I’m not saying I don’t still like the usual stuff. I can’t even say I’m always safe with it, or that I’ll ever be safe with it 100% of the time. I don’t use condoms for giving head but for fucking yeah. Well, at least most of the time, yeah. I’m not perfect, but I know what I want. I’m trying to be open-minded, try new things and still have fun. If you’re feeling weird about using condoms, do something where you don’t need to. It’s been great to have some safer sex that’s actually sexy.

All I’m saying is it doesn’t have to be the same old thing every time, you know? I mean, since when did being gay become typical? I refuse to be typical. I refuse to let sex get routine.

For me, being gay is about being yourself, and not being defined by any stereotypes, and not being tied down. Unless that’s your thing, of course.

-- Get Real Philly: Stories from Real Men, About Real Lives

“10 Slow Sex Tips”

1. Go slower than you would imagine. Then go even slower. In slow sex, there is no minimum speed limit. We promise, if you want to rev things up--try slowing down. 

2. Play with peaking. Orgasm has its ups and downs.  Get to know both and enjoy a whole new kind of ride. 

3. Increase attention rather than pressure. If you want to get more out of sex, expand your range beyond "harder and faster." Increase attention along the way.  Try this on for size: What does it feel like to focus on your partner's collar bone 5 minutes straight?

4. Stay connected. Fantasy can be fun, but it often leaves your partner behind.  Stay connected physically and emotionally.  Sex will get much more satisfying for you both.

  5. Speak your sensations. Communication is the easiest way to increase intimacy. Discover how sexy "simple" can be. Reveal to your partner what you feel in your body right now. Your sensation will increase the more you do.

6. Safeport your partner. Pave the way for deeper sensation. Tell your partner what you are going to do before you do it.

  7. Ask for what you want. Don't dumb down your desires. Even if your partner says no, you increase intimacy and connection when you are honest.

  8. Say the thing you don't want them to know.  Taboo is sexy.  You don't have to act on it, but why keep that sensation to yourself? 

9. Do it for your own pleasure. Especially when you are in "giving" mode. The better it feels to you, the better it will feel to your partner.  Touch them so that it feels good to you.

10. Do it now. Why wait? Ask for the sex you want, right now, today.

-- Nicole Daedone, Slow Sex