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In learning experiments with animals, frustration is the lever that forces the animal to learn new behavior to achieve a desired end…Frustration does not necessarily lead to thinking; it may just as easily turn into anger and rage. These, in fact, are the more natural responses to frustration. Thinking can only happen when the energy of the frustrated desire is shunted away from this avenue of release. Sometime before the frustration becomes overwhelming, the animal must stop its useless effort. “Stop to think” is an old maxim. The “stop” that is so essential to thinking is an unspoken no, a negative command from a higher center that holds back the emotional reaction and allows a higher faculty to take control.
This command that stops an unavailing effort and redirects the energy of the impulse into a new channel is the voice of the ego in its creative function. Three elements enter into a creative impulse: The first is a strong impulse seeking fulfillment in pleasure, the second is a frustration which prevents fulfillment through accustomed actions, and the third is a measure of self-control or self-discipline which prevents the frustrated impulse from spilling over into destructive behavior. If the motivation for pleasure is weak, the effort may collapse in a sense of resignation. If self-discipline is weak, it will change into rage….
The “I don’t ‘no’” begins in the home. It begins when a parent overrides a child’s opposition and enforces his will over the child’s objections.
When the early efforts of a child to establish a self-regulatory pattern are rebuffed by parents, conflicts arise that are most difficult to overcome. The child who has the right to say no to his parents grows into an adult who knows what he wants and who he is.
-- Alexander Lowen, Pleasure
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