My desire to write is connected with my homosexuality. I need the identity as a weapon, to match the weapon that society has against me.
It doesn’t justify my homosexuality. But it would give me — I feel — a license.
I am just becoming aware of how guilty I feel being queer. With H[arriet Sohmers]., I thought it didn’t bother me, but I was lying to myself. I let other people (e.g. Annette [Michelson, film scholar]) believe that it was H. who was my vice, and that apart from her I wouldn’t be queer or at least not mainly so.
Being queer makes me feel more vulnerable.
-- Susan Sontag, journal entry, December 24, 1959
Roman Bachli with Sister
Helen Wheels (Ken Cooper) & Sister Mary Juana (Keith
Gemerek)
“My Ten Gay Commandments”
1. Don’t let your happiness be contingent on anyone else’s approval or disapproval. Tell any detractors where they can shove their negativity. And if that doesn’t work, move to a bigger town.
2. Be as nelly or as butch you want to be. Whether it’s a teacup poohuahua or a Bakelite butt plug, let your accessories express who you are. Remember: We are a rainbow.
3. Get a job. Get two jobs. There’s nothing noble or fabulous about being broke, and there’s nothing more alienating and disempowering than having no disposable income.
4. Avoid becoming a substance-abusing lunatic. Spend your money on Jet-Skis and fab vacations and spiffy new clothes.
5. It’s really okay not to be an expert on politics and international policy. There are too many people today – especially movie celebs – pretending they know what they’re talking about. If you have a question about current affairs, consult an expert.
6. Don’t become a slave to the gym unless you really, really, really enjoy it. Life is too short. Some kind of exercise is important. Better to take tango lessons. Skipping is also great exercise. (Not recommended if you don’t already have a partner.)
7. When you meet somebody great, tear off your brassiere (metaphorically) and scream from the nearest mountaintop. Don’t be coy. Don’t strategize. Don’t play hide and seek: Surrender!
8. Don’t be a victim-y gay. For example, stop complaining about how, when you were growing up, you never saw yourself on TV because there were no decent role models. Always look at things in a positive way: Be glad that you are part of a small special group that was largely ignored by the cheesy sitcoms and that you got to spend your entire childhood watching hets make idiots out of themselves in front of a TV audience.
9. Say yes to all invitations.
10. It might take years to get the marriage thingy approved. In the meantime remember that you, as a fabulous person of queerness, are still ahead of the game. You are one of the chosen people. Unlike a straight person, you are free, free to stay down on the farm or free to move to the big city and spread your wings, free to self-invent, free to wear marabou!
-- Simon Doonan
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