FAMILY

  
Far be it from me to advocate “family” entertainment. The word “family” as used in this phrase describes a dream unit presided over by a daughter’s idea of a father, kept spic-and-span by a son’s idea of a mother, and romped in (innocently) by a parent’s idea of children. In fact, if someone were to set up a production in which Miss Bette Davis was directed by Mr. Roman Polanski, it could not express to the full the pent-up violence and depravity of a single day in the life of an average family.

-- Quentin Crisp