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The primary austerity for [tantric] aspirants is the consistent cultivation of the following virtues in daily interpersonal interactions: common courtesy, friendliness, helpfulness, cheerfulness, kindness, compassion, reliability, understanding, forgiveness, patience, humility, assertiveness, optimism, non-judgment, and impartiality. It is not enough merely to control one’s behavior, although that is a start. To make these virtues a part of one’s character, one must engage in rigorous, daily self-examination of personal motive, fully explore and integrate the unconscious, negative aspects of one’s personality (Shadow), and ceaselessly strive to improve oneself in one’s own heart and in one’s outward behavior by learning from one’s own and others’ mistakes without indulging in excessive remorse or condemnation.
-- William Schindler, Gay Tantra
People come to the consulting room and lay out a collision of values with great embarrassment and agony. They want resolution but would have something even greater if they could ask for the consciousness to bear the paradox.
-- Robert Johnson, Owning Your Own Shadow
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