Q: Do I have an obligation to come out to my parents? I'm a polyamorous bisexual college student. My parents already think I'm a slut. They've seen me with various boys (and close female "friends") since high school, but I think that explaining the ins and outs of my sexual orientation, while it might be good for me, might also be more trouble than it's worth. I caught an STD last year and had to rely on my mother's insurance to fix the plumbing. Imagine how unpleasant it was to be told by her that it was a "tough price to pay," with the implied codicil, "for being a 'ho." Plus, the situation as it stands is quite manageable. Do you think that I ought to come clean? —Pragmatic or Proud? 

A: Spare your parents the coming-out speech. The overwhelming majority of girls who identify as polyamorous bisexuals in college wind up in conventional marriages by the time they're 30. While you may be the most adventurous, tough-price-paying, polyamorous slut on campus right now, come middle age odds are good that you'll be someone's boring, Target-shopping, monogamous spouse. When you settle down, you're going to feel mighty silly about any speeches you subjected your long-suffering parents to back when you were a 'ho. 

-- Dan Savage, "Savage Love" column