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If you have unresolved business with the dead, it is wise and skillful to find a means of releasing it by bringing mercy and forgiveness into your consciousness. Watch how your mind and body tighten around the memory as it arises, and make an effort, little by little, moment by moment, to soften your heart. There is no need to deny what’s happened, to rationalize or justify it in any way, or to negate your own present feelings; rather, your intention is to defuse the pain by acknowledging it fully. Once you start to pay full attention, you see that resentment thrives on subtle resistance; if you are unable to forgive, chances are it’s because you don’t want to. You may find it helpful to practice forgiveness rituals, such as writing letters to those who have harmed you, or using a photograph to meditate upon, imagining these "enemies" as Souls with their own suffering and ignorance.
-- Ram Dass, Still Here
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Holding onto a resentment is like eating rat poison and waiting for the rat to die.
-- Anne Lamott, Crooked Little Heart
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