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The Buddhist teaching of equanimity is at odds with the cult of desire within the gay community. It is much easier for us to be kind and helpful and cheerful with someone who attracts us physically, than with someone who does not fit our stereotype of the sexually desirable. If we somehow judge another person to be dumb or ugly or unpleasant, we are unlikely to give them much time or emotional attention. The American sexual marketplace (not just in the gay world) is very clear about who is attractive and who is not. The more we, as gay practitioners, buy into this fleshy consumerism, the more we violate the basic imperative to equanimity. He is not better than she. Blond is not better than brown. Young is not better than old. "Each one is best," as the old Zen refrain goes. Hot day, cold day; each one is a buddha.
--Kobai Scott Whitney, "Vast Sky and White Clouds: Is There a Gay Buddhism?"
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