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Often in this culture people are programmed to think hierarchically: the blonder the better, the bluer your eyes, the whiter your skin, or the bigger and the taller your shoulders -- the better. There is this whole notion that you have to be some other way in order to be right. Nothing in nature supports that view. So what people have to realize is, they are really just fine the way they are. Beauty and joy follow when you become more of who you are. And so the essential thing is not necessarily who loves you, or what group is accepting of you, or what group do you accept. But, do you accept yourself, however you are?

By the time many people reach adulthood, they have lost touch with their "natural self." I think that what is required is silence. It requires listening to yourself and letting yourself lead, speak, and express. It is an internal flowering that is expressed externally. And also it's fluid; it's not as if you never change. it's more like everything else in life. It's always becoming and you never quite see it, but it's still happening.

-- Alice Walker