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The taste of bitterness that so many fathers and sons have shared often closes their mouths to each other. The fathers don't speak to the sons, and the sons don't say anything to the fathers....
The ambivalence between the father and son gets in the way of the mystery the son is trying to taste. In traditional initiatory cultures, the son is initiated into the sweet and harsh things of life by men who are not as deeply and disturbingly connected to the son as the father. It's the uncles, the mother's brothers, who can give sweetness more directly to the son. Even unrelated older males initiate the sons, for they have even less trouble and less need to deliver bitterness to the son. Then, when returning from initiation periods, the son will re-meet the father on the ground of adult men. They will then have a chance to speak to each other, as we say, "man to man."
-- Michael Meade
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