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...On the subject of needs, wants, and desires, James Hillman begins with three thoughts: 1) we take our needs literally; 2) we believe our needs can be filled; and 3) we believe if they're filled, they'll go away. "I'm suggesting that none of these is true," he says. "Needs are statements of the soul. You have to ask: what does the need need? Let need really come up. Say it aloud. Listen to it in your own body. Sing the blues. Complain. Feel the lack as a lack rather than focusing on what would fill it."
Need, he says, creates an infantile, passive feeling in the body, whereas want moves out to get something -- a step in the right direction.
Toward desire, that is. Not sexual desire, or rather not just sexual desire. He's really talking about the kind of mysterious yearning that can never be fulfilled. "Desire is a potent thing we lose early," he says. "Think of those moments you had as a teenager -- your yearning for fame, for glory, the princess, the castle. We are born with wings of desire, then they're blocked, secularized, humanized into needs. The more therapy helps you meet your needs, the more it blocks the realization of your desires. Then you end up with small triumphs, like going shopping."
-- Don Shewey, In Defense of the Men's Movements
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